With eleven months under my belt of being a stay-at-home dad I am fairly seasoned in the poo department. But nothing could have prepared me for what happened the other night.
Noah had eaten his dinner and was roaming around the house playing with various toys and Tupperware. Eventually he crawled over to me and pulled himself to a standing position using my legs as support: his sign that he wants something. As I began to look down I asked him, Are you tired kiddo or did you poo… oh dear lord! There was green poo all over his shorts, his shirt and piled up around the top edge of his diaper. I have seen cows that poop less. I grabbed him under the arm pits and carried him at arms’ length into the bathroom and set him on the floor. I ran and grabbed his tub and bath supplies. Back in the bathroom Noah sat calmly looking around and babbling, as I franticly filled up his tub. Carefully I started to remove his shirt. By sheer luck I had put him in a button down that morning; otherwise this story would be terrifying. Stripped to his diaper he now had poo on his back, his legs and on the outside of the diaper. There was also poo on the bath mat and the floor. I turned on the shower and stuck him underneath. Once he was rinsed off, I slowly began to take off his diaper, terrified as to what might be inside. Then I gave him a second rinse under the shower. Now I had another problem. Despite my best effort there was poop in his tub. I placed Noah naked and wet on the bathroom floor, dumped out his tub, rinsed it and then began filling it back up again. While I was waiting I grabbed half a package of baby wipes and cleaned his bum. I did not want any more surprises . After a good head-to-toe cleaning I put him in his PJs, stuck him in the crib and went searching the house for any escaped poo. I found some on the child gate and door mat in the kitchen. Immediately I was thankful that I had gotten 350 Clorox wipes the day before.
Quietly Making Noise 
This story reminds me of the other day. Miles is now 1 1/2 years old. He insisted on going up to his crib for an early nap so I was not about to argue with that. I put him in his crib waved good bye and blew him some kisses and went down stairs and turned on the monitor. I worked on my computer while listening to him make noises while he played. About an hour had passed and he was still playing and then he cried a little, which is unusual because he usually falls asleep on his own. A cry usually means that he through his beloved Red Fox out of the crib or his tassy so I went up stairs and peek in his room to see him standing without any pants on. I opened the door further to see what was going on only to notice a diaper with poop flung on to the floor. There he was standing naked in his crib with poop all over his butt, legs, hands, crib; I think you get the picture. I ran down and got the wipes and took him out to clean him a little before throwing him in the tub. And then to top it off as I was dispensing all of the garbage he proceeded to pee on the carpeted floor fortunately just barely missing Mason’s quilt that was hangining off of his bed. Needless to say that was not a very good day….however, I will never forget this:)