I’ve been driving for at least four hours when I pull the car into the gas station; the warm sun and the cloudless sky are all the reason I needed to put the top down as I left the city. At some point during the drive I turned the heater on all the way to keep the cool autumn air at bay. Now out of the warmth of the car, standing in the shade of the gas pump awning I shiver against the cool air. I squeeze the pump’s handle and listen as the whoosh of gas mixes with the passing cars.
I’m not supposed to be here alone. Pumping gas on the side of some narrow country road in a fancy suite. This morning I was pacing in a hotel room waiting for my groomsmen to arrive. My future wife two floors above getting ready. Or so I thought. The clack of the automatic shut off startles me. Replacing the nozzle I ignore the beeping from the pump and get back into the car, reaching out to touch the red broom on the passenger’s seat before turning the key.
My hair dances wildly as the car picks up speed, the reds, yellows and oranges of the trees begin to blur in my periphery and it reminds me of multiple colors of sidewalk chalk running together during a rain storm. An hour later I turn onto a narrow dirt road that climbs steeply into a colorful forest. I begin to question why I am here. I would have preferred a beach. Fall in New England was her favorite time and she intended to start our honeymoon here at a four-diamond inn and spa on the top of a mountain. I had driven here only because it was already paid for. There was no sense wasting this money too. Around a hairpin turn a kaleidoscope of colors falls away to the valley below, the road turns sharply again and the broom gives in to gravity and falls against my leg.
The broom. She’d found a red one at an upscale grocery store in the village and given it to me shortly after we’d met. Telling me I needed to add some practical color to my life. As I raced to get out of the city and away from the humiliation of being stood up I’d grabbed the broom as I’d hastily thrown clothes into a bag. At the moment it gave me a sense of comfort. It was unchanging and sturdy, unlike my current state.
I pull into the inn’s gravel parking lot, taking my place at the end of a long line of cars. I sit for a moment, gripping the steering wheel trying to gather my composure. The view is amazing. The expansive lawn casually slopes down to a large lake that has a handful of rowboats pulled up on its shore and a large wooden raft floating in the middle. Just beyond the lake the land rises up again to meet the mountains that nearly surround the property. With a deep sigh, I grab the broom and climb out of the car.
A short plump woman with graying black hair watches as I open the door to the inn and a small bell chimes.
“Here comes the happy couple!” she says before noticing my eyes are red and puffy, my three-piece suit rumpled, my tie hanging loosely around my neck and bunched up at the top of my vest. It must look like a plaid waterfall.
“Hello. I’m Mr. Slope, checking in.”
“Oh yes of course. We have you in the hon…um.. we have you in our best room, sir.”
All I want to do is get to the room. The clerk’s eyes keep dancing from my eyes to the broom and back again and I can only imagine what she is thinking.
“Yes, well, here is your key. The honey.. the suite is on the third floor. Take a right at the top of the stairs and it is at the end of the hall. Dinner is served at six and breakfast is served from seven to nine. Is there anything else you will be needing?”
“No. I’m all set, thank you.”
Walking across the lobby I glimpse myself in a mirror, and realize how haggard and disheveled I look. She probably thinks that I’m some kind of city junkie. My legs feel like lead as I climb the dark oak staircase. The hallway carpet has a wildly ornate pattern and so much padding that I cannot hear the sound of my own footsteps. Unlocking the door I step into a large suite with a modern theme. There is a rounded alcove overlooking the lawn, the lake and the mountains beyond. Next to the window is a small table with a bottle of wine and a silver tray that is heaped with chocolate covered strawberries. Her favorite. I put my bag and the broom on the bed. Walk to the alcove and take in the view. I wonder where she is? Picking one of the strawberries off the tray I bite into it and begin to pace, sifting through the details of our entire relationship. Trying to find an answer. The more I search for an answer the hotter I get. Pausing briefly I remove my suit jacket and lay it on the bed. The changing light reminds me that it is nearly dinnertime. The thought of sitting in the dining room alone is horrifying. I sit heavily on the edge of the bed and put my head in my hands. I don’t want to be here. Not in this room, this state, this country. I grab the broom off of the bed and stand up snapping it over my knee and letting the two halves clatter to the floor. I grab my suit coat and hear our wedding bands clink together in one of the pockets. I pull them out and study them in the bright yellow light of the setting sun. Tossing them onto the silver tray among the heap of strawberry stems and picking up my bag, I walk out of the room, leaving the broom, the rings, and the life I had hoped to have locked inside.