The Shorts (1) – Bottle Feeding & Physical Fitness

It is 5am and we are up amusing ourselves. I say we as in Noah and I, Erin and the animals are still asleep. I would like to still be asleep but Noah has other ideas. Normally I have this trick of stuffing the monitor under my pillow so my wife can not hear all the noises Noah is making, and thus get some sleep, and I do not have to get out of bed, this morning he was too vocal for too long even for me. So here we are. I am composing The Shorts, and he is cooing as if dictating.

Bottle Feeding:

My Wife just finished up a five day stretch at the Hospital so I was home alone most of the time last week. I am happy to report that after my first night of ranger training everything seems easy now. Noah does get a bit vocal when he is hungry, and by vocal I mean he screams his head off. The rule is that we do not give him the bottle if he is screaming, so I hold him out in front of me and try to get his attention to calm him down. I do this by calling his name and making the all important “shhh” sound. I am pretty sure I am getting hearing damage being so close to something so loud. The Shhishing worked wonders the other day and he instantly stooped crying. For a split second I was so proud of myself for getting him to calm down so fast, but then I started to explain to him that he had to calm down before he got the bottle. This scared him so much his little arms and legs shot straight out and then he began to scream again.

Physical Fitness:

Being a stay at home dad requires you to be in good mental and physical shape,so I run, and do some exercise video I bought off an infomercial at 3am. This requires some planning, which is usually an exercise in futility because Noah is in charge and a really bad planner. So I run when he is preoccupied with his favorite activity, eating.
Yesterday Erin arrived home from work and I had about forty-five minutes until I needed to leave for a meeting. Perfect, my runs take about thirty minutes, that leaves me plenty of time. I left the dog at home, even though he helps by pulling me along for half the run he does like to stop and sniff a lot. This allowed me to shave three minutes off my time, so I had a little more time before I had to leave. unfortunately I wasted that time trying to keep my lungs from jumping out of my chest. Somehow I was now running behind and I needed to clean up a little, there is no time for a shower, what to do? Baby Wipes! We use them when we camp why not now. BRILLIANT! So here I am standing in the living room half naked still trying to keep my lungs in my chest and wiping myself down with warm baby wipes. Which I must say are much nicer than cold baby wipes.

Noah fell back asleep shortly after I started to write this.

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