Fishnets For Christmas Trees
This past week my wife and I have been preparing for the family to arrive, both sides, from all over the world. It started by going to the local Home Depot to pick out a tree. Home Depot we discovered three years ago has really good trees at a decent price. Once we have found a tree it is my job to take it off those foolish spikes they use to stand them up. Grunting and heaving I wrestle the tree to as open an area as possible and shake it vigorously, then stand as still and as straight as possible while Erin looks it over.
I like to think I know what I am doing when it comes to picking out a tree because I worked for a Christmas tree shop for a short time in high school. I did such things as organize wreaths, paint pine cones and sell trees. That however is a story for another time. Not satisfied by the first tree Erin wonders off to check out other trees while I stand guard over the tree and Noah who is snoring loudly in his car seat. Soon Erin finds the perfect tree which I wrestle off the spike and hand off to happiest employee in the world who then stuffs the tree through a contraption that puts a giant fish net stocking over it. Then he ties the tree to the roof of our car and we go merrily home, hoping all the while that the employee knew how to tie a good knot.
I have to take a moment to say that this current experience of getting a tree is much easier than when I was a child. Back then Dad would load my brother and I into the giant brown station wagon before dawn and drive us deep into the woods of Vermont. We would then walk through snow up to my arm pits for miles until we found just the right tree. Before cutting it down we would pose for pictures looking tough with our bow saw and multi colored winter hats with giant pom poms on top. After we had cut down the tree we would drag it the several miles back to the car and head for home. Dad would then spend the next week trying to get the tree to stand straight in the tree stand that looked like a oil pan with fly buttresses welded inside.
Putting on lights is also my job and a lot harder to do when you are holding a child. First of all you have to make sure that you do not poke them in the face with a branch. The other thing you do not want to do is wrap the lights around their leg or arm for this can cause the tree to spin and you never get anywhere. Placing the child in the tree is also not wise for they get pine pitch all over them and you have to explain to your wife how an 8 week old got pine pitch in their ear.
The tree was not our only adventure this week we also ran errands for six hours and bought one other gift while standing next to each other. We are still going to wrap some of the gifts and put them under the tree. I may even act surprised when I open it, but that will be because by next week I will have forgotten what I am getting.
The likely hood of me putting something out before Christmas is slim so I will wish everyone and Happy Christmas or Chanukah or whatever you may celebrate. If you are enjoying the blog please tell others. If you have comments please feel free to post them.
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